There it was…
The moment I realized that where I met myself that day
was not the same place where I left myself years agoWho was this person in this body?
My journey to understand and take better care of my high sensitive brain started in 2005. I was a performing artist back then. And I was struggling with a very negative self-image, chronic feelings of overwhelm, stress, and anxiety, and a growing number of intolerances to food, light, sound, and fabrics. My nervous system was close to burnout but back then I could not see that. Until that one day, I took a trial session with a colleague dancer who was training to become a Feldenkrais practitioner.
That day I became painfully aware of how I had lost connection with most of myself. My body had lost its natural mobility and sensuality. I realized that I had not only lost touch with myself, but also with my main drive to dance: the curiosity about what moved me; feeling the flow of life in all its flavors, sensations, and colors, the joy of expressing myself freely, and getting to know my body more deeply. The tough years in the Dance and Art Academy, and my struggles with food, self-esteem, and self-doubt during those years, had clearly left their mark.
It dawned on me that over the years my inability to clearly feel and respect my energetic and physical boundaries had taken its toll on my nervous system and body.
The Awareness Through Movement class on that sunny winter afternoon awakened a forgotten feeling deep inside; a memory of a time when I felt whole, full of life, and relaxed to be myself. In this first session I already experienced how spacious, peaceful and relaxed my body could feel when I didn’t criticize myself, push myself or blame my body for being tense and heavy. And that sensation was priceless after years of chronic tension, low energy, and an overloaded nervous system. My body wanted more and so did I!
When you witness without judgement, how you move, behave and imagine yourself to be in the world, you can initiate change. Change can happen by learning to become aware through enjoyable movements that may bring to light personal details about yourself you never knew. – Moshe Feldenkrais
To embrace my life and my body again, I had to stop blaming my body for how I felt. And I had to accept myself wholeheartedly
Soon after, I signed up for the 4-year teacher training program to become a Feldenkrais somatic movement teacher myself. What touched me the most was that after so many years I could feel sensations of pleasure, security, and quietness again. I could feel safe in my body and at home with myself again.
I discovered that the more I was present in myself, the more I could sense my boundaries and take care of my emotional and physical needs. Changing the way I ‘used’ myself helped me regain my natural fluidity and sensuality.
In 2016, I discovered the transformative, healing practice of NIA. I found ways to move, dance, and care for myself that nurtured the authentic, playful dancer in me and reinforced the, now loving and caring, relationship with my body. I learned to feel at ease again in my emotional universe. I can’t remember ever having so much vitality and liveliness flowing through me.
In the years that followed, dance, silence, mindful movement and creativity became my go-to’s to create a strong connection with my wise inner sparkle. To deeply nourish my nervous system, to realign my perception with the here-and-now of my body and the sensuous environment, to set clear energetic and physical boundaries, and to become the radiant, life-loving woman I am today.
This journey has now given me the fortitude to help other sensitive women feel at ease with being themselves, trust and embrace their Wise Bodies, and create a beautiful life with what they have and who they are.