You are enough

You are enough

by | Dec 27, 2023 | Changing the story, Somatic Wisdom

I am preparing for the solo retreat that will start in less than a week.

In many of the past retreats, women told me about their struggle with ‘Not being good enough’. One of the tools in my magic healing box is the Systemic Dance Constellation Ritual. It was born out of my own intuitive way of systemic constellation and the training in systemic work I received in training as a somatic energetic therapist

I love to constellate the theme of ‘not being good enough’ by playing with our Self-wise energy personalities. Our Self Wise is the part in us that often got wronged or ridiculed in our childhood.

I know from experience that it can leave big scars and feelings of being disempowered, not equipped with the right survival tool, of not feeling of any worth. It has a huge influence on our life decisions, how we dream and desire for ourselves, our relationships, and how we dare to stand up for ourselves.
It is important to heal that part! To change your belief settings and self-image. And there is a very powerful way to invite our mind to stop her chatter: Movement and Play!
I believe that moving is the medicine, and to play is to heal. Through movement, we can gently sense our way in, with our body as the foundation.
After one of the Systemic Dance Constellation Rituals, I gifted myself, I wrote myself this little empowering poem:

“Not good enough” There she is again. Her venom paralyzes me to my core and grabs me by the throat. She drags me into her raging stream full of self-condemnation and comparisons to others. I go head over heels for her vicious words. She pulls me into her dark deep waters. Slowly I feel myself drowning in the fear of not being able to survive with who I am. Is it possible to believe in something else?

For a moment, “not being good enough” gets its way. Then strong hands pull me up, a soft voice whispers ‘It is not true’. It is another part of me. I break free from this devastating stream of thought. I feel the power of “not good enough” weakening. Her poison will miss its effect this time. She will have no more power over me..”

Visiting my inner museum

Visiting my inner museum

by | Dec 27, 2023 | Blog, Changing the story, Somatic Wisdom

To change our mode of action, we must change the image of ourselves that we carry within us. — Moshe Feldenkrais

Have you ever been to a museum?
In my twenties, I had a part-time job as an attendant in the municipal museum in The Hague. There was a hall with the works of the artist Piet Mondrian. It was my job to keep an eye on the paintings. And there were many! But I got completely lost in a painting called ‘Evolution”… The blue, in the blue, that made me dream about other places… And while I was immersed in it, I forgot about time, space, my body, and the paintings that I had to keep an eye on.

As we move through life, we have many experiences that shape us, hurt us, or give us joy… And as we grow, they become the stories of our lives, the paintings in our inner museum.
And almost always there is one of them that draws our attention more than the others. My ‘Evolution’ as it were. I can still see and feel myself in front of the classroom; a little girl with buckteeth, spiky hair, and a fire-red blush on my face. The teacher made fun of me and the other children booed me. And I see myself looking at this little girl from the sidelines, as she cringes and disappears…

For a long time, this ‘What’s wrong with me’ story was the only painting in my inner museum that I could see. I kept reinforcing that story through the way I saw myself, my thoughts, and the way I moved, stood, and looked at the world: tense, stressed, and huddled. As I continued to pay attention to this one particular inner painting, every day I felt more anxious, more tense, and more alone. The only way not to feel this was to get out of my body and dissociate from myself. A state of FREEZE:

Feeling fragmented
Restricting your freedom of movement
Experiencing emotional numbness
Estranging from your body and sensations
Zoning out from here and now
Erasing your sense of self

“Life is not a stable process. Our ability to recover is our greatest quality” Moshe Feldenkrais

Practicing the somatic movement method of Feldenkrais helped me to experience a variety of ways of holding myself and moving, which directed my attention to other paintings in my inner museum. Inner paintings that evoked pleasant sensations, emotions, and thoughts.

Through moving with awareness, I discovered how to reconnect with body sensations that helped me to be present in my body with joy and confidence.

And the more I could perceive my whole inner museum, the more variety of sensations and emotions I began to feel. Feeling more of myself enabled me to see myself differently and to make different choices for my life. Choices that were in tune with who I am, what I needed and wanted for myself, and helped me to move into joy.

I believe movement has this healing capacity because it connects us to every dimension of self.

(The painting above is from Steve Johnson | Pexels.com)

The spell of your words

The spell of your words

by | Sep 16, 2023 | Changing the story, Somatic Awareness

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The words you choose or habitually use to tell and give meaning to your personal narrative are powerful. They are energy! They create and build or destroy.

The story you tell about yourself and to yourself sets the tone and direction of your life. The words you say to yourself largely determine how you feel; in relation to yourself, your body, and other people. Understanding the meanings you have given these words and the beliefs and emotions behind them helps you to see why you are stuck in a story, image, behavior, or way of moving that ‘hurts’ and robs you of your precious life force energy and inner sparkle.

Take the word and concept ‘authenticity‘, for instance. A word and concept widely used in the self-development world and in the spiritual circuit. Many of the women who visit me tell me they have a deep desire to be more authentic and to express themselves more, so they can live with more purpose and fulfillment.

What does ‘authenticity’ mean to you?
How does being Authentic feel to you? Does it come naturally or does it take effort?

In my retreats, I meet many women who see only their so-called beautiful, society-accepted side as ‘authentic’. They often push away the other, rawer, shadowier side that society does not value, resulting in a whole gamut of soul and physical problems, and blocked access to both life force and genuine physical and spiritual fulfillment.

Often, they feel unable to access their sensations and emotions: their sadness, anger, fear, passion, sensuality, wildness, and intuition, for example. Or find it difficult to set their boundaries or take good care of themselves. They have lost connection with their inner compass because of the fear of feeling a part of themselves that does not fit into the concept of the perfect wife, mother, friend, colleague, businesswoman, or spiritual person.

They often have forgotten how to interpret and give meaning to the language of their inner, sensuous body, their soma. The sensations, emotions, images, movement, sensory perceptions, and thoughts that softly tell about our unique inner world, our inner narrative, and the whispers of our Soul.

The way we fill words with meaning influences how we show up in life and understand ourselves. Its energy drives our behaviour and our deepest beliefs. It create filters that determine how we listen to our bodies, to others and how we shape our perception of the world and ourselves.

For many of us the meaning of the concept and word ‘authenticity’ has become muddled. It is driven by the rules and  ‘truths’ of society, the family or group we want to belong to, by old painful stories of shame, punishment, or rejection of who we really are. And often also by generations of passed-down family values, and beliefs. And the centuries-long dominance of patriarchal values and a patriarchal model of the world in which many feminine qualities, values, and strengths have lost place.

By re-exploring the meaning of ‘authenticity’ and testing it vis-a-vis your own truth, you create space to stay close to yourself, and tap into your unique potential. It will show you where to let go and relinquish that which limits you from being yourself very naturally and worry-free. It allows you to start living more of your truth in how you perceive, feel, think, move, express yourself, respond, decide, make choices, and give meaning to what you perceive, feel, and think. So you can live and connect more wholeheartedly and passionately from your heart.

For me, this is in the meaning behind the word ‘authenticity.

How do your words shape who you are? And is that how you want to feel about yourself?

Do you love yourself enough to truly listen to your Body Wise?

Do you love yourself enough to truly listen to your Body Wise?

by | Apr 11, 2023 | Body Intelligence, Changing the story, Somatic Awareness

I am in the midst of preparing the sessions for the ‘Embrace your Body Wise’ retreat in May. The retreat will be a journey of somatic dance play that takes you into your own depths to feel, move and be moved, to discover, connect, heal and grow in your natural time, guided by your natural rhythm. We will move, heal and create at the pace and rhythm of our nervous system.

This somatic journey connects us to all the inner resources that help us experience ourselves from a non-judgmental, innate wise, and curious place. Being playful brings us to a place where we can be open, inquisitive, and joyful. The main state for both organic, experiential, neuroplastic learning, and holding space for self-regulation of our sensitive nervous systems.

But what is somatic you might ask me. One of these mysterious coaching words? Today I want to shine my light on somatic awareness and help you understand more about somatically oriented learning.

A Study of Experiencing your body from within

Soma means the living body. Somatic refers to the study of experiencing ourselves from within the body; the whole living system that we are. In other words, having a felt sense of ourselves. Somatic approaches are body-centered instead of mind-centered or spiritually centered. That doesn’t mean that there is no place for spirituality. On the contrary, the living body is where the mind, biology, soul, and spirit meet to create and celebrate life.

Somatic modalities are offered successfully in many fields of personal development and trauma. Research shows that the body holds all of our memories -both conscious and unconscious- in our brain, cells, tissues, and bones. The body keeps the score, as the title of well-known psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk’s groundbreaking book on stress and trauma processing reads.

And at the same moment, awareness in the body is what gives us a sense of being present in the here and now and of being alive. Movement and stillness are both ways to enter the body’s memories. Most somatic practices use a combination of awareness, and involuntary or voluntary movement to release pain, trauma, and stress.

Back to somatic dance play creativity…

My somatic movement practices add attentive movement, and stillness to ‘experiencing from within’, to bring awareness to both internal and external relationship patterns and habits of perception that perpetuate fragile self-esteem, and a sense of hyper-vigilance and not belonging. I believe that changing the way we move can change our self-image and the perception we have of the world, in a gradual, sustainable, nervous system-friendly way. It is a graceful and empowering way of changing that respects our system’s need to keep balance.

“When you witness without judgement, how you move, behave and imagine yourself to be in the world, you can initiate change.  Change can happen by learning to become aware through enjoyable movements that may bring to light personal details about yourself you never knew.” Moshe Feldenkrais

Moving with awareness teaches us about our body’s interaction with the environment, thoughts, feelings, and emotions. We get to know and familiarize ourselves with the somatic antennae by which we inform our nervous system (sensation, senses, image, meaning, emotion, and our energy perceivers). This allows us to clean out those antennae that have become clouded by our unconscious attachment to old painful experiences and limiting beliefs. In this way, we can be purely present with what is now and here and adjust our perception of our inner and external reality and environment like-wise. This creates the embodied experience of wholeness and aliveness that is fundamental to feeling a deep vitality at the heart of our being.

In a physical way, attentive movement informs us, and our nervous system, about the relationship patterns between our muscles, organs, the connective tissue on one hand, and emotions, thoughts, beliefs, and feelings on the other. When these patterns are far from optimal we experience pain, tension, and tightness. All motor movement begins with these relationship patterns and can be improved by improving these relationships from within. Our own Body Wise guides us in getting to know our habits in relationship dynamics. Having this understanding helps us re-pattern habits that create struggles in relationships. What would it be like to feel genuinely present, safe, and intimate in relationships that are important to you?

When we alter the stimuli our nervous system receives, we change our entire perception. Awareness and the intention to focus on what feels comfortable, pleasurable and easy are the keys.

“Aren’t we all in varying degrees, captives in our own personal prisons, bound by our limiting habits?” Ruthy Alon

How would it change your life if you can consciously choose movement that feels free and pleasurable and makes you feel relaxed, centered, present, and at home in your body? Ways of moving that contribute to feeling effortless in navigating life’s challenges?

Do you love yourself enough to join the dance of your Wise sensuous body and receive her gifts wholeheartedly?

‘Embracing Your Body Wise’ is an invitation to reconnect with your inner sensuous wisdom, rediscover playful, spontaneous movement, reattune to the wonder and magic of your sensational you, and consciously choose the path of enjoyment and ease to navigate life and build a caring, joyous relationship with yourself. Well isn’t that a spark for our vitality and inner sparkle?

Again I believe it all begins with reconnecting to your own nature, coming home to your body, re-attune to the sensuous world in and outside, and experiencing a felt sense of yourself.

Check my ‘Embrace your Body Wise retreat’ on Bookretreats.com

What people say:

“Thank you, so much. It was such a blessing to be able to transform through dance and be held in a safe, sacred, beautiful outdoor space.  I’m amazed at the tenacity of your body wisdom and that rare gift you have of guiding while supporting freedom and intuitive movement. There was such a depth and complexity to your work and yet it was so simple and easy to engage, to flow, to dance, to move, to transform, and to just be. Thank you. I had profound realizations and moments of such clarity on deep core issues. It’s wonderful knowing I embodied those transformations. I feel completely different now when I walk and move”. Lucy Hunter

How to dissolve feelings of not belonging?

How to dissolve feelings of not belonging?

by | Feb 28, 2023 | Blog, Body Intelligence, Changing the story, Somatic Awareness

Today I was preparing a private Chakradance retreat ‘Reconnect with your Essence‘ in Jardin de Luz.

While dancing through the base chakra, I came upon the themes of belonging and birthright. I know that there are many people who struggle with a deep feeling and belief of not being welcome, not being wanted, or feeling that they have no right to be there, to exist. And with the fear of feeling the intense emotions that these deep experiences and beliefs bring into the body.

I used to struggle with it myself. And back then, it caused me to feel deeply insecure and anxious about who I was. I used to work hard to feel accepted by others and to avoid pain. I had an inner voice that constantly pointed out to me possible clues that no one was waiting for me, and that I was not wanted. It made me hyper-vigilant and over-sensitive. I was constantly alert-aware of my surroundings, the emotions of other people, the tiniest (inner) movement of another, and the energy around me. At the slightest thing, I shot out of my body like you can jump up from a chair in a startled movement when you are stung.

Thankfully, this lonely, fearful time has long passed. I have found a warm home within myself, within my body. Six months after I moved to Spain and a few months after I completed the Chakradance facilitator training, I wrote a few lines about it. See the image above…

For me, connecting and working with the archetypal energies that flow through my body and circulate in my energy field helped me find peace within myself and ground in my body. From this base, I can feel myself, be myself in all new encounters and challenging moments, and feel the inner support and safety of my body

Why can it be so powerful to dance and create with archetypes as done in Chakradance?

Archetypes are the basis of all the underlying, unlearned, instinctual patterns in our behavior. They exist in our collective human consciousness and are embedded in your psyche from which they influence how you move through life and perceive, feel, think, and act.

Dance is like a mirror in which you see the archetypal energies at work in your energy system. You can clearly feel where they bring imbalance and distortion in your body and to your energetic make-up. It offers you a conscious way to connect with these archetypal energies and change how and where they affect you.

In this way, deep instinctual patterns of behavior get a chance to transform. This changes for the better how you perceive, feel, think, and move in relation to others and your environment.

For this reason, dancing with your base chakra ‘Muladhara’, can dissolve deep beliefs of not belonging, of being alienated from your body, and feelings of fear, overwhelm, and uncertainty. In fact, even longstanding patterns of physical tension and, for example, back pain can be released when the energy of the base chakra is better balanced. It also changes the vibration in your energy field and therefore the way other people perceive you. You can be sure that you will start to experience more joy, inner sparkle, and a deeper, genuine connection with others when you can welcome yourself completely, and feel at home in your body.

Re-membering yourself home in your body

Re-membering yourself home in your body

by | Feb 28, 2023 | Changing the story, Somatic Awareness

“Our bodies know they belong; it is our minds that make our lives so homeless.” John O’Donohue

I love this quote and I believe there is so much truth in it! 

Our stories start in the body with the way our autonomous nervous system ‘feels’ the world from moment to moment. It is called ‘neuroception’; a term originating from Stephen Porges’s Polyvagal theory. We only have little awareness of these subtle shifts in our states and the influence that they have on how we feel, perceive our environment, and behave from moment to moment. These wordless neuroceptive messages are somatic signals, like a gut feeling, sensations of temperature change, sensations from our organs, muscles or our heart intuition … The autonomic nervous system sends these neuroceptive signals to the brain.

 Our mind then starts to give meaning to this somatic story that our body tells by creating the beliefs that guide our daily life. A story is being born.

Since this process usually takes place in the unconscious background of our daily lives, ‘our moment-to-moment being’, such a story has a chance to take deep root. It is often the seed from which unconscious habits in perception, behavior, movement, and attitude grow. And these habits influence our decision-making, self-image, reactions, and how we see the world and give meaning to what we perceive, and ultimately how we relate to others and our environment.

Awareness is the key to our unconscious stories

We can become aware of this unconscious flow of information by pausing, listening in our body, and attending to our body sensations before we interpret them with our mind. Much like being a witness

 When we can observe from the curious, playful “infant mind space” rather than our more judgmental “ego mind space,” we create a new space for trying out options in response, behavior, and perception. An option to enact a new story by using the ability of our nervous system and body to adapt, change and grow.

Unlock your capacity for self-healing

We meet ourselves through our infant mind space when we attend to conscious movement, expressive dance, and arts. When we invite ourselves to reconnect with our bodies, to play, explore and discover the wisdom that our body holds for us. I believe this unlocks our capacity for self-healing

It’s how I healed myself many years ago when I realized that I had lost my zest and sparkle and felt alienated from myself. I made the choice to change how I listened to and looked at myself, to re-story, to meet myself again in movement, in the moment, to re-member myself home in my body.

Are you curious how you can feel more whole and connected to your body?

Maybe a dance movement creativity retreat at Jardin de Luz is something for you.  Feel welcome to contact me for A free orienting conversation