Do you love yourself enough to truly listen to your Body Wise?

Do you love yourself enough to truly listen to your Body Wise?

by | Apr 11, 2023 | Body Intelligence, Changing the story, Somatic Awareness

I am in the midst of preparing the sessions for the ‘Embrace your Body Wise’ retreat in May. The retreat will be a journey of somatic dance play that takes you into your own depths to feel, move and be moved, to discover, connect, heal and grow in your natural time, guided by your natural rhythm. We will move, heal and create at the pace and rhythm of our nervous system.

This somatic journey connects us to all the inner resources that help us experience ourselves from a non-judgmental, innate wise, and curious place. Being playful brings us to a place where we can be open, inquisitive, and joyful. The main state for both organic, experiential, neuroplastic learning, and holding space for self-regulation of our sensitive nervous systems.

But what is somatic you might ask me. One of these mysterious coaching words? Today I want to shine my light on somatic awareness and help you understand more about somatically oriented learning.

A Study of Experiencing your body from within

Soma means the living body. Somatic refers to the study of experiencing ourselves from within the body; the whole living system that we are. In other words, having a felt sense of ourselves. Somatic approaches are body-centered instead of mind-centered or spiritually centered. That doesn’t mean that there is no place for spirituality. On the contrary, the living body is where the mind, biology, soul, and spirit meet to create and celebrate life.

Somatic modalities are offered successfully in many fields of personal development and trauma. Research shows that the body holds all of our memories -both conscious and unconscious- in our brain, cells, tissues, and bones. The body keeps the score, as the title of well-known psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk’s groundbreaking book on stress and trauma processing reads.

And at the same moment, awareness in the body is what gives us a sense of being present in the here and now and of being alive. Movement and stillness are both ways to enter the body’s memories. Most somatic practices use a combination of awareness, and involuntary or voluntary movement to release pain, trauma, and stress.

Back to somatic dance play creativity…

My somatic movement practices add attentive movement, and stillness to ‘experiencing from within’, to bring awareness to both internal and external relationship patterns and habits of perception that perpetuate fragile self-esteem, and a sense of hyper-vigilance and not belonging. I believe that changing the way we move can change our self-image and the perception we have of the world, in a gradual, sustainable, nervous system-friendly way. It is a graceful and empowering way of changing that respects our system’s need to keep balance.

“When you witness without judgement, how you move, behave and imagine yourself to be in the world, you can initiate change.  Change can happen by learning to become aware through enjoyable movements that may bring to light personal details about yourself you never knew.” Moshe Feldenkrais

Moving with awareness teaches us about our body’s interaction with the environment, thoughts, feelings, and emotions. We get to know and familiarize ourselves with the somatic antennae by which we inform our nervous system (sensation, senses, image, meaning, emotion, and our energy perceivers). This allows us to clean out those antennae that have become clouded by our unconscious attachment to old painful experiences and limiting beliefs. In this way, we can be purely present with what is now and here and adjust our perception of our inner and external reality and environment like-wise. This creates the embodied experience of wholeness and aliveness that is fundamental to feeling a deep vitality at the heart of our being.

In a physical way, attentive movement informs us, and our nervous system, about the relationship patterns between our muscles, organs, the connective tissue on one hand, and emotions, thoughts, beliefs, and feelings on the other. When these patterns are far from optimal we experience pain, tension, and tightness. All motor movement begins with these relationship patterns and can be improved by improving these relationships from within. Our own Body Wise guides us in getting to know our habits in relationship dynamics. Having this understanding helps us re-pattern habits that create struggles in relationships. What would it be like to feel genuinely present, safe, and intimate in relationships that are important to you?

When we alter the stimuli our nervous system receives, we change our entire perception. Awareness and the intention to focus on what feels comfortable, pleasurable and easy are the keys.

“Aren’t we all in varying degrees, captives in our own personal prisons, bound by our limiting habits?” Ruthy Alon

How would it change your life if you can consciously choose movement that feels free and pleasurable and makes you feel relaxed, centered, present, and at home in your body? Ways of moving that contribute to feeling effortless in navigating life’s challenges?

Do you love yourself enough to join the dance of your Wise sensuous body and receive her gifts wholeheartedly?

‘Embracing Your Body Wise’ is an invitation to reconnect with your inner sensuous wisdom, rediscover playful, spontaneous movement, reattune to the wonder and magic of your sensational you, and consciously choose the path of enjoyment and ease to navigate life and build a caring, joyous relationship with yourself. Well isn’t that a spark for our vitality and inner sparkle?

Again I believe it all begins with reconnecting to your own nature, coming home to your body, re-attune to the sensuous world in and outside, and experiencing a felt sense of yourself.

Check my ‘Embrace your Body Wise retreat’ on Bookretreats.com

What people say:

“Thank you, so much. It was such a blessing to be able to transform through dance and be held in a safe, sacred, beautiful outdoor space.  I’m amazed at the tenacity of your body wisdom and that rare gift you have of guiding while supporting freedom and intuitive movement. There was such a depth and complexity to your work and yet it was so simple and easy to engage, to flow, to dance, to move, to transform, and to just be. Thank you. I had profound realizations and moments of such clarity on deep core issues. It’s wonderful knowing I embodied those transformations. I feel completely different now when I walk and move”. Lucy Hunter

How to dissolve feelings of not belonging?

How to dissolve feelings of not belonging?

by | Feb 28, 2023 | Blog, Body Intelligence, Changing the story, Somatic Awareness

Today I was preparing a private Chakradance retreat ‘Reconnect with your Essence‘ in Jardin de Luz.

While dancing through the base chakra, I came upon the themes of belonging and birthright. I know that there are many people who struggle with a deep feeling and belief of not being welcome, not being wanted, or feeling that they have no right to be there, to exist. And with the fear of feeling the intense emotions that these deep experiences and beliefs bring into the body.

I used to struggle with it myself. And back then, it caused me to feel deeply insecure and anxious about who I was. I used to work hard to feel accepted by others and to avoid pain. I had an inner voice that constantly pointed out to me possible clues that no one was waiting for me, and that I was not wanted. It made me hyper-vigilant and over-sensitive. I was constantly alert-aware of my surroundings, the emotions of other people, the tiniest (inner) movement of another, and the energy around me. At the slightest thing, I shot out of my body like you can jump up from a chair in a startled movement when you are stung.

Thankfully, this lonely, fearful time has long passed. I have found a warm home within myself, within my body. Six months after I moved to Spain and a few months after I completed the Chakradance facilitator training, I wrote a few lines about it. See the image above…

For me, connecting and working with the archetypal energies that flow through my body and circulate in my energy field helped me find peace within myself and ground in my body. From this base, I can feel myself, be myself in all new encounters and challenging moments, and feel the inner support and safety of my body

Why can it be so powerful to dance and create with archetypes as done in Chakradance?

Archetypes are the basis of all the underlying, unlearned, instinctual patterns in our behavior. They exist in our collective human consciousness and are embedded in your psyche from which they influence how you move through life and perceive, feel, think, and act.

Dance is like a mirror in which you see the archetypal energies at work in your energy system. You can clearly feel where they bring imbalance and distortion in your body and to your energetic make-up. It offers you a conscious way to connect with these archetypal energies and change how and where they affect you.

In this way, deep instinctual patterns of behavior get a chance to transform. This changes for the better how you perceive, feel, think, and move in relation to others and your environment.

For this reason, dancing with your base chakra ‘Muladhara’, can dissolve deep beliefs of not belonging, of being alienated from your body, and feelings of fear, overwhelm, and uncertainty. In fact, even longstanding patterns of physical tension and, for example, back pain can be released when the energy of the base chakra is better balanced. It also changes the vibration in your energy field and therefore the way other people perceive you. You can be sure that you will start to experience more joy, inner sparkle, and a deeper, genuine connection with others when you can welcome yourself completely, and feel at home in your body.

Re-membering yourself home in your body

Re-membering yourself home in your body

by | Feb 28, 2023 | Changing the story, Somatic Awareness

“Our bodies know they belong; it is our minds that make our lives so homeless.” John O’Donohue

I love this quote and I believe there is so much truth in it! 

Our stories start in the body with the way our autonomous nervous system ‘feels’ the world from moment to moment. It is called ‘neuroception’; a term originating from Stephen Porges’s Polyvagal theory. We only have little awareness of these subtle shifts in our states and the influence that they have on how we feel, perceive our environment, and behave from moment to moment. These wordless neuroceptive messages are somatic signals, like a gut feeling, sensations of temperature change, sensations from our organs, muscles or our heart intuition … The autonomic nervous system sends these neuroceptive signals to the brain.

 Our mind then starts to give meaning to this somatic story that our body tells by creating the beliefs that guide our daily life. A story is being born.

Since this process usually takes place in the unconscious background of our daily lives, ‘our moment-to-moment being’, such a story has a chance to take deep root. It is often the seed from which unconscious habits in perception, behavior, movement, and attitude grow. And these habits influence our decision-making, self-image, reactions, and how we see the world and give meaning to what we perceive, and ultimately how we relate to others and our environment.

Awareness is the key to our unconscious stories

We can become aware of this unconscious flow of information by pausing, listening in our body, and attending to our body sensations before we interpret them with our mind. Much like being a witness

 When we can observe from the curious, playful “infant mind space” rather than our more judgmental “ego mind space,” we create a new space for trying out options in response, behavior, and perception. An option to enact a new story by using the ability of our nervous system and body to adapt, change and grow.

Unlock your capacity for self-healing

We meet ourselves through our infant mind space when we attend to conscious movement, expressive dance, and arts. When we invite ourselves to reconnect with our bodies, to play, explore and discover the wisdom that our body holds for us. I believe this unlocks our capacity for self-healing

It’s how I healed myself many years ago when I realized that I had lost my zest and sparkle and felt alienated from myself. I made the choice to change how I listened to and looked at myself, to re-story, to meet myself again in movement, in the moment, to re-member myself home in my body.

Are you curious how you can feel more whole and connected to your body?

Maybe a dance movement creativity retreat at Jardin de Luz is something for you.  Feel welcome to contact me for A free orienting conversation

My sexy tango dress

My sexy tango dress

by | Feb 20, 2023 | Blog, Changing the story, Somatic Awareness

Years ago, when I started dancing the tango, I wanted a sexy dress. I found a very nice dress that swirled around me when I danced and which had a very nice low back. For years I have worn that dress with great pleasure and I looked super sexy and elegant in that dress. It draped beautifully and the fabric felt like a second skin. 

Over the years I added other tango dresses to my wardrobe and the dashing tango dress ended up somewhere in the back of the closet.

A while ago I was looking for my things to pack for the big move to Spain. We would be living in a holiday home there for the time being until the dream spot was found. It seemed smart to travel light and give a big part of my closet to charity.

And in the back of the closet lay that beautiful tango dress folded up. The deep colors smiled at me, still as seductive as then. I felt it tingling in my stomach again. I let the soft fabric slide through my hands… ‘Mmmhh I can still try it on, you never know.’ 

Over the years an ounce here and an ounce there had come in and out. Anyway, my shape now did not seem to dance with the dress, at least not in size. I was no longer the 30-year-old I was then, although with some willpower and effort, I might well be able to regain that shape. Still, the dress would not be the same. I am a different person than the woman who once bought the dress. I have traveled a long way, and gathered new experiences, and other experiences that have shaped me, and made me think and feel differently in my life.

That brings me to today’s theme:

What do we do with the beliefs we have?

One could compare the beliefs to the tango dress.  We create the most beliefs when we are very small; our core beliefs. And at that point, they fit us perfectly in how they help us make meaning of the world and protect it. Many people carry their beliefs throughout their lives, despite having all kinds of wonderful experiences over the years that also teach and tell them other things. And that’s a shame because these early beliefs are a kind of thought warp created out of emotional experiences and learned patterns and frames of thought. They are like limiting filters on reality and they leave out a lot or distort and generalize unique new experiences, encounters, and views that help us grow as human beings.

What would it be like if we occasionally ‘put on’ such an old belief very consciously, as I tried on my tango dress years later because it looked so beautiful? Would that belief still fit?  Or do we now have to try very hard to fit into it? 

I noticed that I had old limiting beliefs that I could only continue to “fit” if I made myself smaller or less. And for quite a few years I kept faithfully adjusting myself to those limiting beliefs of ‘Not being good enough” and ‘What is wrong with me?’ 
I could have done that with my tango dress: I could have gone on a diet, and I could have worked out to get a different body. However, I chose to distance myself from the dress. It was good, this tango dress belonged to a certain time and to this time a different dress fits.

A few years ago, together with my tango dress, I put a number of limiting beliefs in charity’s ‘bag’. Beliefs also have an expiration date, for beliefs, just like the tango dress, don’t change. And we are always in motion, in an evolving state. There will irrevocably come a time when we want to live differently when we want to be full of life and be who we are deep inside. No more crash diets for the body, mind, and soul. And then it’s time to do what I did with the tango dress.

I lovingly gave it to charity. Who knows, maybe someone else will be very happy with it now and the dress will be swaying across the dance floor with a different body.  You can do the same with your limiting beliefs. You CAN let them go lovingly.

Which “tango dress” are you giving up?

 

Are you trapped in an old story?

Are you trapped in an old story?

by | Feb 18, 2023 | Blog, Changing the story, Somatic Awareness

Yesterday I participated in an online training course to become an NIA Blackbelt teacher with about twenty other women. The assignment we got was to take turns in front of the camera, engaging the other women in your dance. I felt the shrinking motion, so familiar to me, of wanting to vanish into thin air. I am back on that bright spring day more than 40 years ago.

‘Birds are twittering and a gentle summer breeze rustles through the trees. Other children’s laughter and voices echo through the hallways. It is my first day at a new school and shyness and curiosity fight together as I hesitantly step into the new classroom.

I am watched closely by a group of girls and crack a shy smile. A sharp voice cuts through the room. The piercing cold eyes of an old gruff woman bore into me. I feel awfully uncomfortable. She calls me to come to the front of the class. With clammy hands I stand in front of the blackboard, sweat gushes down my back, and I feel the heat rising to my cheeks… She is the teacher and I feel that she does not like me at all.

She makes a snide comment about my father and pulls hard on my ear. I feel myself shrinking and my cheeks flush red, tears prick my eyes, clouding my vision. In front of me, I hear booing and laughing and commenting about my fire-red head, my weird name, stick-out ears and hazel teeth. I feel something is terribly wrong with me, but what and why?

Later in the schoolyard, they stand before me, the group of boys from my class. They pull at me, push me to the ground, and hiss that they are not done with me yet. I hide, I tremble, in my own little world, “I do not belong, I am not safe”.

 I quickly turned off my camera in a flight response. I feel caught again in this old story of being pilloried, being punished, the shame, the feeling that something is wrong with me but what and why? A story that keeps repeating itself over and over again.

But there it was the voice from deep inside: “IT IS ENOUGH”. “I’m done hiding, being invisible.” Back on again I put the camera, raising my middle finger to this story. Shy, nervous, and at the same time curious and determined to enjoy the dance, I stepped into my light and showed my sparkle.

Do you have old stories that keep you trapped in pain and tension?

Old childhood pain takes on big forms. In our subconscious, the hurt children go their own way. In the therapy world, it is also called the shadow. That’s where all the emotions live that are too painful and unsafe to deal with. I had my ways of pushing the shadow away from me, dissociating was one of them. It was in no way pleasant to live in a very tense and exhausted body either. I was very easily overwhelmed and always on high alert with others.

Living with so much tension and anxiety comes with a price. Sooner or later, the body says “No”. My body decided enough was enough on one rainy, grey, and cold winter day. She was done with the toxic environments that I managed to get myself into, time and time again. As if this past painful story had to be told over and over again.

That one day, ‘that tough day like all the other days’, I chose a new movement in a different direction, while my body took the lead.

This is where my journey into joy, spontaneity, and feeling free began.

Feeling safe doesn’t come overnight.

Only when the immediate threat is gone, do the survival patterns come to the surface. The coping attitudes- and behaviors, the deep beliefs and emotional habits that are on auto-repeat.

My journey progressed in stages. First I got to know my body, feel at home with her… Feeling safe doesn’t come overnight. It requires tuning in, again and again, attuning to the flow of feelings within, the movement of the body, the contraction and expansion, the pain and pleasure. I kept asking questions, curious about the relationships within, and eager to learn. Slowly descending, playing both with my fear and my desire for pleasure. Letting my roots sense into the earth while I gently fell through emotional layers.

Quaking, shaking, screaming, laughing through a sea of tears, I came home to myself, embracing my precious inner sparkle. The dance that once knocked me out, now lets me find my way back home.

Are you done with old stories that rule your life?

Do you want to re-find your inner sparkle and let it shine?

I am happy to shine my light on you here in Jardin de Luz. Let me be your sparkle guide and support you on your journey.

You can book a solo retreat here in the beautiful nature of southern Spain. You will stay in a sweet little house among olives and almonds, overlooking the beauty and power of mother earth. Besides the ‘inner journey sessions’, I will make sure you eat deliciously healthy and have all the space you need to unwind, digest and make a new movement. Want to know more? Book a skype/zoom session with me

Act in spite of fear

Act in spite of fear

by | Jan 22, 2023 | Blog, Somatic Awareness

Looking at this picture that I found on Facebook 3 years ago, I am most touched by the words ‘Act in spite of fear’. I feel that I and with me, many others have firm struggles with overcoming the fear that is holding us back from following our heart. Fear of not being good enough, not being safe in ourselves, not belonging, falling or failing, being visible or invisible, being rejected, fear for our own potential or living a meaningless life, never really doing what we deep in ourselves dreamt of doing… and so on.

Two years ago, when facing the fear that was holding me back from choosing to step out of the cozy prison I had created for myself, I met very old emotional pain that asked for my attention.  I learned that dealing with fear is not only a mindset. I believe there are strong emotional habits behind our mindset, that are responsible for many of our thinking patterns and nowadays beliefs. Emotional patterns,  deeply hidden in our cells, that are responsible for unconscious self-sabotaging beliefs. They were formed when we were still little ones that did not have the words yet to express ourselves nor the social knowledge to understand what was going on in our lives.

These emotional habits are so firmly ingrained in our physical structure -our posture, our way of walking, and our way of moving through life-, that they have become like our signature. Fairly often it is not as simple as letting go of the beliefs they bring to mind. We have become attached to them for better or worse as the struggle with them has become a purpose in itself. We’re not aware that we’re holding on to them by choosing to control, fight them, push them away, and refuse to own them. That we are actually avoiding the even bigger fear of not knowing and not being in control. But isn’t it in the unknowing that our dreams will unfold themselves?

I believe these beliefs and the emotional patterns that form their root, can only be addressed, brought up, and transformed in close collaboration with the body.

I discovered that the body expresses the emotions that we tend to push away through tension and pain in our body tissue, our muscles, joints, and organs, causing an overwhelmed nervous system, fatigue, depression, hormonal disbalance, and ultimately disease. I am talking about psycho-somatic issues in the tissues that most doctors have no answer for but ‘learn to live with them’. Mystery pain and tension that has no name nor a cause in most of the classic medical books.

On my own journey, I learned to dare to not know and stop controlling fear. Staying present with fear in heart and mind amidst the emotional overwhelm is challenging but not impossible. And actually stepping into action in spite of fear brought to the surface my most hidden gifts and talents. I learned to feel and see beyond the physical pain and feel the emotional story behind a posture or physical movement pattern f.e. walking. In short, I learned to walk my talk.

When making choices that were more aligned with who I am, I felt clear how highly tense, sore tissues started to soften over time. I learned to relieve habits of stress by listening to my body’s impulses. My organs got back their motility and mobility and improved function. My immune system is still growing stronger every day. Even to the point where some old food intolerances disappeared. After 30 years of chronic exhaustion, I am now feeling alive and full of zest.

And as I continue following and trusting the voice of my body whether she talks about food, movement, emotions, thoughts, memories, or pain I get to know what my soul craves. Like a shadow guide, I explore the hidden emotions and beliefs behind the physical pain, the constrained movement, the tiredness, and the unhealthy patterns that I created over time.

And as I go there, sad emotions and sheer fear come to the surface like little monsters. Except when connecting with them, they seem more like little children feeling very lost in the dark. In my opinion, the work is about bringing these little ones home as they carry with them so many of our soul’s gifts and talents.

Steadily I am finding ground in my body. And the more I breathe with her in moments of fear, the more she softens, opens, and stops holding on to it.

I dare say that choosing the life you wish for in spite of fear, is a powerful way to dismantle that same fear. It starts with reclaiming your dream step by step: addressing and unraveling old emotional habits and reframing old childhood belief systems while embracing new chosen life experiences, and sensations. To refind our ground in the body releases anxiety and overwhelm. Remembering the body as our earth’s home creates the peacefulness and safety from the inside that is so needed to move along unknown paths.

When I set out to fulfill my dream and find my truth, I never dreamed of finding so much potential for healing and growth by owning my fear and stopping controlling it.

I now trust, listen and validate my own instinctual and intuitive wisdom and act upon that wisdom. What a difference that makes! I feel there is calmness in one’s own wise words when one speaks them to oneself. There is peace underneath the fear when one allows the body to move with it. To trust that there is silence in the eye of the storm that overwhelms the nervous system and that this silence comes with strength and insight to face the inner storms and showers of rain yet to come.

I believe we can only change mindset when we change the full setting; mind, body, nervous system, and soul. I feel they are all interconnected and can’t be separated in the processes of learning and healing.

The tool needed for change is to become self-aware in sensing, feeling, thinking, and action, owning every aspect of this including the consequences of our choices and actions. In understanding why you are where you are, you will know which way to walk and how to choose your path.

So if you also feel that your comfort zone is a safe prison, it might be time to reconsider if you want to stay there. Why not take the first small step out of your comfort zone… In spite of fear!

In the retreats that I offer, I help you find ground in your body and get ready for new choices and actions. If you are interested you can check my retreats on Bookretreats.com