Renew your self-image to match who you really are?

Renew your self-image to match who you really are?

by | Feb 26, 2025 | Blog, Changing the story, Ignite your sparkle

Very early on, our brains create an image of ourselves that has its roots in our earliest life experiences. Our brain uses this self-image as a kind of roadmap to predict who we should be and how we should be in relationship to our environment, and others. This self-image directs how we move, talk, think, feel, and perceive ourselves in the world. It drives our behavior and relationships, and it shapes our model of the world.

As toddlers, we learned by trial and error what was safe to feel and express in order to receive love from our caregivers. We learned to suppress certain sensations and copy certain behaviors for fear of rejection. In other words, we learn early on who, how, and what we need to be to belong and be safe.

A self-image is a complex composition of image, movement, emotion, sensation, and perception. Depending on how it sees us in the world, it forms attentional habits that then act as a filter, a kind of glasses, distorting all our perceptions, images, emotions, thoughts, and sensations. And all those perceptions, emotions, thoughts, and sensations inform our neuro-biology about what the world inside and around us is like.

So you could say that our self-image colors our inner experience and our perception of the outside world. If this keeps repeating itself, it creates patterns in our neurobiology that in turn affect our lives, relationships, and well-being.

Suppose you have a negative self-image…This can become an endlessly repeating circle that culminates in hypervigilant attention habits that revolve around what is wrong and constantly reinforce our negative experiences. Resulting in our neuro-biology running survival programs that deplete our body systems of energy. We might not feel very well in our skin all-together which in turn reinforces our negative self-image. An endless circle…

How can you create a new self-image that matches who you really are in the heart of your being?

Our body tells our story. It’s like a history book. The way she stands, sits, moves, dances, and expresses inner movement. They are all expressions of how we are in the world and how we are in relationship with ourselves, and others. They also reveal how our nervous system has organized itself based on our self-image.

Our body also knows the way out of a negative self-image. That is out of neurobiological survival patterns rooted in negative attention habits. If we only dare to trust her and entrust us to her guidance, she will show us how to write a new story. A new story through the physical senses and how she receives the environment through them.

When we put our minds in the passenger seat and enjoy the ride of the eyes, ears, nose, tongue, and skin, we experience the world as it is. A world that is not necessarily about us. It’s neutral and it helps our brains map themselves into the here and now that isn’t colored by the attentional habits of our self-image. It gives our brain an accurate world map of the moment.

Our brain has the task of mapping out a route to the next moment that is as energy-saving, enjoyable, and pleasant as possible. This means that the brain makes a prediction and a strategy to face the future, the next moment. Our biology and body systems then use this information to do their magic. You can imagine that the uncolored objective reality of our senses provides a better roadmap for that route than the colored subjective negative world map created by the self-image.

And in time with the real-time roadmap of the senses and the updated strategies of our brain, our genius system starts to form a new self-image that is rooted in the here-and-now story of how we belong and are embedded in the greater web of life.

And then the circle starts again. Attention habits form that inform our biology which in turn informs us through how we move, feel, sense, give meaning, dream, and envision. Only this time the attention habits tell us about what is, and reflect our nature back to us by what we receive from the present world around us. And those will be messages of beauty, goodness, kindness, and ease that recalibrate our inner compass to our inner sparkle, to genuine well-being, and authenticity

And to have again an inner compass that guides us to our inner sparkle, to our north star, to the essence of who we are… That is what I wish for us all.

Moving out of habits of perfection

Moving out of habits of perfection

by | May 11, 2024 | Blog, Body Intelligence, Changing the story, Nervous System Health, Somatic Awareness, Somatic Wisdom

Last week during the retreat as we were exploring our senses through our animal body and dancing with its emotions of grief, anger, and pleasure, we came to speak about the habit of perfection, the hurt and wounding underneath, and how it has influenced how many of us can be so hard and demanding on ourselves, and lack the self-compassion to give loving attention and care to our bodies and sensations. As a result, we miss out on many valuable sensations, sparks of sensory wisdom, and a sense of natural time and rhythm.

Many of us live with a stressed, deprived nervous system, and chronic holding patterns in the body that cause hypersensitivity, and lack of energy, and also make us feel less animated or flatten everyday pleasurable and joyful sensations and emotions.

I believe the most important part of healing your soul is finding your way back to sensing in the here and now. Allowing your sentient animal eyes, ears, sense of smell, taste, and touch to curiously scan their natural living environment, feel its beauty and magic in every cell of your being, and receive its nourishment for your nervous system and body.

For in order to heal your system of body, mind, soul, and inner spirit and soothe the stricken animal within, your nervous system needs to connect with and map into its present sensuous environment where it can tune into the soothing ebb and flow-like greater natural movement and rhythm of the earth and cosmos.
This gradually and in small reversible steps changes your perception and your physical-emotional holding patterns and steadily guides you into your sacred essence….

I have read Marion Woodman´s ‘Addiction to Perfection’ a few times and Marian Woodman puts it beautifully. I quote Marion Woodman:

“First, I believe that femininity is taking responsibility for our bodies, so that the body becomes the tangible expression of the spirit within.
For those of us who have lived life in the head, this is a long, difficult and agonizing process, because in attempting to release our muscles, we also release the pent-up fear and rage and grief that has been buried there, probably since or before birth .
Within ourselves we find a stricken animal almost dead from starvation and mistreatment. Because it has been punished for long, it acts at first like a wild neurotic creature that hasn’t known love. But gradually it becomes our friend, and because it understands the instincts better than we, it becomes our guide to a natural, spiritual way of life.
To find the natural rhythms of our bodies, to walk, to see, to hear, to feel with renewed sensitivity and perception, is to return to our birthright which is our gift from the Goddess” Marion Woodman | ‘Addiction to Perfection’

Because the relationship with our bodies is such an important and permanent one in our lives, I feel that creating a beautiful relationship with our wise bodies is a must in order to feel alive, and able to manifest our greatest, most exquisite soul desires and dreams.

Are you seeking to connect deeper with your body and feel better in your skin?

I offer ongoing retreats to help women with

  • finding their way back to sensing themselves in the here-and-now
  • changing constricting perception habits
  • change painful physical-emotional holding patterns in the body
  • align with their sacred essence, inner wisdom, joy and sensuality
  • build a loving relationship with their wise bodies
  • create beauty with who they are and what they have

You can check out my retreats via Bookretreats.com

 

 

The sound of you

The sound of you

by | Dec 28, 2023 | Blog, Body Intelligence, Changing the story, Movement as Medicine, Somatic Wisdom

Sound is our channel for expression. It is the energy of vibration and has the potential to heal and open the spaces in ourselves energetically and physically. It eases our breathing, and softens tight places in the chest and back. Therefore sound is an important element of the sixth chakra; the throat chakra.

When we are at ease with our voice and sound and we speak with clarity and confidence, the energy of this chakra can flow optimally. This keeps our throat, mouth, thyroid, neck, ears, cavities of belly, face, and chest in good health.

We heal and balance our throat chakra when we speak our truth, communicate kindly and non violently yet with clarity. When we are able to listen attentively and receive through our listening. And last but not least when we speak kindly and compassionate to and about ourselves. A balanced throat chakra is a must for our spontaneous expressive energy to flow freely and nourish us with joyous vibrancy and meaningful connections with others.

For as long as I remember, I have been shy and anxious to speak out loud, speak my truth, show myself through my voice.   I would hide in myself as soon as the fire reached my cheeks in a turbulent red. Ever so now and then I still feel panic and blockage when it comes to finding words and sharing my thoughts and feelings through them.

Old wounds as so to speak. It took me some time to realize that blocking my voice caused the tightness I sensed in my chest and upper belly and my shallow breathing and states of anxiety and emotional tension. It even touched upon my digestive system. My journey to get to know my voice and free her started during the Feldenkrais training I took and led me to dance, sing and lament, to NLP, and voice and breathwork.

Fast forward, I now go live on Facebook in a language that is not even my mother tongue. I voice my thoughts and ideas. Daily I get to listen to my voice and the words I choose when I offer Feldenkrais somatic movement play, and Somatic movement creativity online. I celebrate this new step with joy, more confidence, more breath, and resonant spaces in my chest, belly, and bones. And certainly more courage to authentically dance play myself into the light and help other people to step into theirs.

In 2021 I offered a miniseries to free the body’s sound system in my former FB group. People told me how much they had enjoyed exploring their body’s sound system, expanding their potential for more ease, range, and freedom in expressing and breathing, and to give a voice to their trapped emotions and the beliefs they were holding about their voice and self-image. And how they felt more of themselves.

Do you want to embrace more of you? I now offer the free mini-series ‘The Sound of You’ on my YouTube channel

Meeting your inner child energies

Meeting your inner child energies

by | Dec 27, 2023 | Changing the story, Somatic Awareness, Somatic Wisdom

Today was the last day of the last retreat of 2023 at Jardin de Luz.
I am grateful for the beautiful, courageous journeys I was invited to guide this year.

One of my favorite practices is the inner child cards that we create from working somatically, energetically, and creatively with parts of ourselves.

Our younger parts often bring up the most painful and sometimes happiest stories from the past that demand our attention. Sometimes because we can’t let go of them. And more often we become aware of how we have rejected some young parts of ourselves out of fear of losing the love of those around us. Those parts keep demanding our attention, challenging us, until we make space for them, really listen to them, and give them a place in our hearts again. Their behavior often created counterparts who act as safety officers. They manage our beliefs and keep our free, uninhibited, playful inner child firmly in line. Some call them their inner critics. (Above one of my inner child cards).

For this practice, we listen deeply to the somatic messengers that inform us from the inside out, from our cells, bones, muscles, connective tissues, and our subconscious realm so to speak. They are what I call the somatic communication SISTEM:

Senses

Images

Sensations

Thoughts

Emotions

Movement

and next to that, we use lots of old magazines, scissors, and glue to play with what our inner children have to say.

Does working with dance, movement, and creativity speak to you as a way to heal yourself and grow from the inside out?  And are you interested in a retreat with me? Feel free to contact me for an exploratory chat.

The spell of your words

The spell of your words

by | Sep 16, 2023 | Changing the story, Somatic Awareness

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The words you choose or habitually use to tell and give meaning to your personal narrative are powerful. They are energy! They create and build or destroy.

The story you tell about yourself and to yourself sets the tone and direction of your life. The words you say to yourself largely determine how you feel; in relation to yourself, your body, and other people. Understanding the meanings you have given these words and the beliefs and emotions behind them helps you to see why you are stuck in a story, image, behavior, or way of moving that ‘hurts’ and robs you of your precious life force energy and inner sparkle.

Take the word and concept ‘authenticity‘, for instance. A word and concept widely used in the self-development world and in the spiritual circuit. Many of the women who visit me tell me they have a deep desire to be more authentic and to express themselves more, so they can live with more purpose and fulfillment.

What does ‘authenticity’ mean to you?
How does being Authentic feel to you? Does it come naturally or does it take effort?

In my retreats, I meet many women who see only their so-called beautiful, society-accepted side as ‘authentic’. They often push away the other, rawer, shadowier side that society does not value, resulting in a whole gamut of soul and physical problems, and blocked access to both life force and genuine physical and spiritual fulfillment.

Often, they feel unable to access their sensations and emotions: their sadness, anger, fear, passion, sensuality, wildness, and intuition, for example. Or find it difficult to set their boundaries or take good care of themselves. They have lost connection with their inner compass because of the fear of feeling a part of themselves that does not fit into the concept of the perfect wife, mother, friend, colleague, businesswoman, or spiritual person.

They often have forgotten how to interpret and give meaning to the language of their inner, sensuous body, their soma. The sensations, emotions, images, movement, sensory perceptions, and thoughts that softly tell about our unique inner world, our inner narrative, and the whispers of our Soul.

The way we fill words with meaning influences how we show up in life and understand ourselves. Its energy drives our behaviour and our deepest beliefs. It create filters that determine how we listen to our bodies, to others and how we shape our perception of the world and ourselves.

For many of us the meaning of the concept and word ‘authenticity’ has become muddled. It is driven by the rules and  ‘truths’ of society, the family or group we want to belong to, by old painful stories of shame, punishment, or rejection of who we really are. And often also by generations of passed-down family values, and beliefs. And the centuries-long dominance of patriarchal values and a patriarchal model of the world in which many feminine qualities, values, and strengths have lost place.

By re-exploring the meaning of ‘authenticity’ and testing it vis-a-vis your own truth, you create space to stay close to yourself, and tap into your unique potential. It will show you where to let go and relinquish that which limits you from being yourself very naturally and worry-free. It allows you to start living more of your truth in how you perceive, feel, think, move, express yourself, respond, decide, make choices, and give meaning to what you perceive, feel, and think. So you can live and connect more wholeheartedly and passionately from your heart.

For me, this is in the meaning behind the word ‘authenticity.

How do your words shape who you are? And is that how you want to feel about yourself?