Visiting my inner museum

Visiting my inner museum

by | Dec 27, 2023 | Blog, Changing the story, Somatic Wisdom

To change our mode of action, we must change the image of ourselves that we carry within us. — Moshe Feldenkrais

Have you ever been to a museum?
In my twenties, I had a part-time job as an attendant in the municipal museum in The Hague. There was a hall with the works of the artist Piet Mondrian. It was my job to keep an eye on the paintings. And there were many! But I got completely lost in a painting called ‘Evolution”… The blue, in the blue, that made me dream about other places… And while I was immersed in it, I forgot about time, space, my body, and the paintings that I had to keep an eye on.

As we move through life, we have many experiences that shape us, hurt us, or give us joy… And as we grow, they become the stories of our lives, the paintings in our inner museum.
And almost always there is one of them that draws our attention more than the others. My ‘Evolution’ as it were. I can still see and feel myself in front of the classroom; a little girl with buckteeth, spiky hair, and a fire-red blush on my face. The teacher made fun of me and the other children booed me. And I see myself looking at this little girl from the sidelines, as she cringes and disappears…

For a long time, this ‘What’s wrong with me’ story was the only painting in my inner museum that I could see. I kept reinforcing that story through the way I saw myself, my thoughts, and the way I moved, stood, and looked at the world: tense, stressed, and huddled. As I continued to pay attention to this one particular inner painting, every day I felt more anxious, more tense, and more alone. The only way not to feel this was to get out of my body and dissociate from myself. A state of FREEZE:

Feeling fragmented
Restricting your freedom of movement
Experiencing emotional numbness
Estranging from your body and sensations
Zoning out from here and now
Erasing your sense of self

“Life is not a stable process. Our ability to recover is our greatest quality” Moshe Feldenkrais

Practicing the somatic movement method of Feldenkrais helped me to experience a variety of ways of holding myself and moving, which directed my attention to other paintings in my inner museum. Inner paintings that evoked pleasant sensations, emotions, and thoughts.

Through moving with awareness, I discovered how to reconnect with body sensations that helped me to be present in my body with joy and confidence.

And the more I could perceive my whole inner museum, the more variety of sensations and emotions I began to feel. Feeling more of myself enabled me to see myself differently and to make different choices for my life. Choices that were in tune with who I am, what I needed and wanted for myself, and helped me to move into joy.

I believe movement has this healing capacity because it connects us to every dimension of self.

(The painting above is from Steve Johnson | Pexels.com)

Movement is life

Movement is life

by | Dec 27, 2023 | Nervous System Health, Somatic Wisdom

“Movement is life. Life is a process. Improve the quality of the process and you improve the quality of life itself.” Moshe Feldenkrais.
Everything in nature is in constant motion to create a harmonious ecosystem. A dynamic balance, so to speak. And if we zoom in, each of us is a genius ecosystem in its own right: A system of body systems, our nervous system, energy systems, mind, emotions, soul and spirit. A system that exchanges information 24/7, updating itself by interacting with all the surrounding systems and its internal sub-systems. Therefore, our system demands mobility, and flexibility to create dynamic stability. It needs movement to find its balance, just like every other system in nature and the universe. Without movement, life is unthinkable!

Movement is the very expression of our existence.
The spell of your words

The spell of your words

by | Sep 16, 2023 | Changing the story, Somatic Awareness

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The words you choose or habitually use to tell and give meaning to your personal narrative are powerful. They are energy! They create and build or destroy.

The story you tell about yourself and to yourself sets the tone and direction of your life. The words you say to yourself largely determine how you feel; in relation to yourself, your body, and other people. Understanding the meanings you have given these words and the beliefs and emotions behind them helps you to see why you are stuck in a story, image, behavior, or way of moving that ‘hurts’ and robs you of your precious life force energy and inner sparkle.

Take the word and concept ‘authenticity‘, for instance. A word and concept widely used in the self-development world and in the spiritual circuit. Many of the women who visit me tell me they have a deep desire to be more authentic and to express themselves more, so they can live with more purpose and fulfillment.

What does ‘authenticity’ mean to you?
How does being Authentic feel to you? Does it come naturally or does it take effort?

In my retreats, I meet many women who see only their so-called beautiful, society-accepted side as ‘authentic’. They often push away the other, rawer, shadowier side that society does not value, resulting in a whole gamut of soul and physical problems, and blocked access to both life force and genuine physical and spiritual fulfillment.

Often, they feel unable to access their sensations and emotions: their sadness, anger, fear, passion, sensuality, wildness, and intuition, for example. Or find it difficult to set their boundaries or take good care of themselves. They have lost connection with their inner compass because of the fear of feeling a part of themselves that does not fit into the concept of the perfect wife, mother, friend, colleague, businesswoman, or spiritual person.

They often have forgotten how to interpret and give meaning to the language of their inner, sensuous body, their soma. The sensations, emotions, images, movement, sensory perceptions, and thoughts that softly tell about our unique inner world, our inner narrative, and the whispers of our Soul.

The way we fill words with meaning influences how we show up in life and understand ourselves. Its energy drives our behaviour and our deepest beliefs. It create filters that determine how we listen to our bodies, to others and how we shape our perception of the world and ourselves.

For many of us the meaning of the concept and word ‘authenticity’ has become muddled. It is driven by the rules and  ‘truths’ of society, the family or group we want to belong to, by old painful stories of shame, punishment, or rejection of who we really are. And often also by generations of passed-down family values, and beliefs. And the centuries-long dominance of patriarchal values and a patriarchal model of the world in which many feminine qualities, values, and strengths have lost place.

By re-exploring the meaning of ‘authenticity’ and testing it vis-a-vis your own truth, you create space to stay close to yourself, and tap into your unique potential. It will show you where to let go and relinquish that which limits you from being yourself very naturally and worry-free. It allows you to start living more of your truth in how you perceive, feel, think, move, express yourself, respond, decide, make choices, and give meaning to what you perceive, feel, and think. So you can live and connect more wholeheartedly and passionately from your heart.

For me, this is in the meaning behind the word ‘authenticity.

How do your words shape who you are? And is that how you want to feel about yourself?

Be Guided by Your Body Wise

Be Guided by Your Body Wise

by | Apr 11, 2023 | Body Intelligence, Somatic Awareness

“What people had been calling a “gut reaction” turned out to be a mere hint of the complex intelligence at work in a hundred thousand billion cells.”

― Deepak Chopra, The Book of Secrets: Unlocking the Hidden Dimensions of Your Life

How do we really know what is good for us?

Most women I know decide with their minds. Often these choices don’t turn out right. The mind is made for organising, and planning intention into action, talking with others, and making lists and many other good and valuable things. However deciding is not one of them. 

To make decisions from what to eat to how to life our life or what next step to take we need that part of us that is in contact with the here and now in time and space. That part which is online 24 hrs a day, taking in and processing information far below the surface of what our mind can capture. I am talking about our Body Wise Self.

Our Body Wise Self may be most felt through the sensations in the gut, in the heart, in the upper belly, or the sensation of weight on our feet, depending on how you are wired. Our Body Wise communicates in many ways and often we experience this as inner visceral sensations or proprioceptive sensations or even images or unfamiliar word choices that come from an inner voice.

Our Body Wise, being the intelligent intuitive web of a living body, neurobiology, heart, subconscious, and spirit, offers the most direct and intelligent guidance for our choices.

In the short 10-minute meditation in this post, I guide you to dialogue with your inner Body wise in a simple straightforward way. This technique allows you to consciously tune in at any time with your inner wise one.

You will learn how to ask a question to your Body Wise and interpret the subtle language through which your Body Wise answers.

This meditation is done in standing  and preferably on bare feet (socks are oke

Do you love yourself enough to truly listen to your Body Wise?

Do you love yourself enough to truly listen to your Body Wise?

by | Apr 11, 2023 | Body Intelligence, Changing the story, Somatic Awareness

I am in the midst of preparing the sessions for the ‘Embrace your Body Wise’ retreat in May. The retreat will be a journey of somatic dance play that takes you into your own depths to feel, move and be moved, to discover, connect, heal and grow in your natural time, guided by your natural rhythm. We will move, heal and create at the pace and rhythm of our nervous system.

This somatic journey connects us to all the inner resources that help us experience ourselves from a non-judgmental, innate wise, and curious place. Being playful brings us to a place where we can be open, inquisitive, and joyful. The main state for both organic, experiential, neuroplastic learning, and holding space for self-regulation of our sensitive nervous systems.

But what is somatic you might ask me. One of these mysterious coaching words? Today I want to shine my light on somatic awareness and help you understand more about somatically oriented learning.

A Study of Experiencing your body from within

Soma means the living body. Somatic refers to the study of experiencing ourselves from within the body; the whole living system that we are. In other words, having a felt sense of ourselves. Somatic approaches are body-centered instead of mind-centered or spiritually centered. That doesn’t mean that there is no place for spirituality. On the contrary, the living body is where the mind, biology, soul, and spirit meet to create and celebrate life.

Somatic modalities are offered successfully in many fields of personal development and trauma. Research shows that the body holds all of our memories -both conscious and unconscious- in our brain, cells, tissues, and bones. The body keeps the score, as the title of well-known psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk’s groundbreaking book on stress and trauma processing reads.

And at the same moment, awareness in the body is what gives us a sense of being present in the here and now and of being alive. Movement and stillness are both ways to enter the body’s memories. Most somatic practices use a combination of awareness, and involuntary or voluntary movement to release pain, trauma, and stress.

Back to somatic dance play creativity…

My somatic movement practices add attentive movement, and stillness to ‘experiencing from within’, to bring awareness to both internal and external relationship patterns and habits of perception that perpetuate fragile self-esteem, and a sense of hyper-vigilance and not belonging. I believe that changing the way we move can change our self-image and the perception we have of the world, in a gradual, sustainable, nervous system-friendly way. It is a graceful and empowering way of changing that respects our system’s need to keep balance.

“When you witness without judgement, how you move, behave and imagine yourself to be in the world, you can initiate change.  Change can happen by learning to become aware through enjoyable movements that may bring to light personal details about yourself you never knew.” Moshe Feldenkrais

Moving with awareness teaches us about our body’s interaction with the environment, thoughts, feelings, and emotions. We get to know and familiarize ourselves with the somatic antennae by which we inform our nervous system (sensation, senses, image, meaning, emotion, and our energy perceivers). This allows us to clean out those antennae that have become clouded by our unconscious attachment to old painful experiences and limiting beliefs. In this way, we can be purely present with what is now and here and adjust our perception of our inner and external reality and environment like-wise. This creates the embodied experience of wholeness and aliveness that is fundamental to feeling a deep vitality at the heart of our being.

In a physical way, attentive movement informs us, and our nervous system, about the relationship patterns between our muscles, organs, the connective tissue on one hand, and emotions, thoughts, beliefs, and feelings on the other. When these patterns are far from optimal we experience pain, tension, and tightness. All motor movement begins with these relationship patterns and can be improved by improving these relationships from within. Our own Body Wise guides us in getting to know our habits in relationship dynamics. Having this understanding helps us re-pattern habits that create struggles in relationships. What would it be like to feel genuinely present, safe, and intimate in relationships that are important to you?

When we alter the stimuli our nervous system receives, we change our entire perception. Awareness and the intention to focus on what feels comfortable, pleasurable and easy are the keys.

“Aren’t we all in varying degrees, captives in our own personal prisons, bound by our limiting habits?” Ruthy Alon

How would it change your life if you can consciously choose movement that feels free and pleasurable and makes you feel relaxed, centered, present, and at home in your body? Ways of moving that contribute to feeling effortless in navigating life’s challenges?

Do you love yourself enough to join the dance of your Wise sensuous body and receive her gifts wholeheartedly?

‘Embracing Your Body Wise’ is an invitation to reconnect with your inner sensuous wisdom, rediscover playful, spontaneous movement, reattune to the wonder and magic of your sensational you, and consciously choose the path of enjoyment and ease to navigate life and build a caring, joyous relationship with yourself. Well isn’t that a spark for our vitality and inner sparkle?

Again I believe it all begins with reconnecting to your own nature, coming home to your body, re-attune to the sensuous world in and outside, and experiencing a felt sense of yourself.

Check my ‘Embrace your Body Wise retreat’ on Bookretreats.com

What people say:

“Thank you, so much. It was such a blessing to be able to transform through dance and be held in a safe, sacred, beautiful outdoor space.  I’m amazed at the tenacity of your body wisdom and that rare gift you have of guiding while supporting freedom and intuitive movement. There was such a depth and complexity to your work and yet it was so simple and easy to engage, to flow, to dance, to move, to transform, and to just be. Thank you. I had profound realizations and moments of such clarity on deep core issues. It’s wonderful knowing I embodied those transformations. I feel completely different now when I walk and move”. Lucy Hunter

Rolling about and around

Rolling about and around

by | Mar 28, 2023 | Blog, Body Intelligence, Nervous System Health

The benefits of somatic floor play…

I love to roll on the ground. I love floor play whether it is Feldenkrais oriented or whether it has an NIA Joy in Motion taste. Rolling around and about, creeping, crawling, and playing animal… my daily dose of spontaneous play. Whenever I feel tired, overwhelmed, or just in a playful, silly mood, I lay on the ground and start sensing, feeling, and moving. It helps me to empty my overflowing, busy mind. Overtime is has proven to be one of my best working crumpy-mood changers and energizers.

The ground friend or enemy?

So often we hold ourselves with loads of effort. As if we have no backup that supports us when life plays tough on us. As if the ground beneath us is our worst enemy. Have we forgotten where our roots go? When I look around me I do get the impression that many people don’t remember their roots. So many of us are living high up in our minds and seldom come down to scent the moist fragrance of the rich earthy soil or sense the feet as they faithfully guide us through life, exploring the ground beneath us with their sensitive antennae. There are 7,000 nerve endings in each foot….

For a half year now, I live in the midst of nature in my beautiful paradise ‘Jardin de Luz’ in the heart of the Alpujarra mountains in Spain. I am surrounded by singing birds, and abundant tapestry of flowers in myriad colors, and lots of creepy little crawlers that fertilize the humid soil of my land.  I love to lie down in the green and watch the bright blue sky while a soft tepid breeze tickles my skin. And when the green is not too pointy, I love to roll around and about like a little kitten. It keeps my nervous system healthy.

The Human Nervous system, like any other nervous system, needs the ground to orient, organize and move the body. Yielding to gravity is the medicine for excessive muscle tone, anxiousness, and stress. And that is precisely why a little floor play a day keeps the doctor away.

When we are born we first learn to move on the ground. Our nervous system learns to navigate and negotiate gravity. This play with gravity also helps strengthen the muscles that later will support the skeleton, carrying us through life. There are 7 core patterns that we move through before we stand up and walk. And together with this physical process of creating these patterns, we develop our minds. We first learn about the world and about meaning through these early movements on the ground. We develop emotional intelligence while playing our way up into standing and walking. The physical body guides the emotional and mental body to wise up and get ready to play in life’s luxuriant garden.

The ground beneath us was a safe haven when the world was too overwhelming for our young minds. The support we could lean into when there was nothing else to lean on. A place to rest and digest. Yet on our path to adulthood, many of us mostly forgot that gravity supports us. Where did we start battling gravity and backing away from the ground? So many people deal with tension and back pain as a result of not grounding and co-operating with gravitational forces. Many nervous systems forgot how to lean into the earth and inhale its life force.

As a result, stressful tension cannot discharge and becomes trapped in the physical body, causing physical pain, fatigue and tension, emotional anxiety and stress, and an overloaded, busy mind that hardly is able to relax.

This brings me to a few of the most impressive benefits of floor play:

Relaxation, discharge stress, tap into life force, feel vital, vibrant, and energized. And most important, it will improve the way you move and help you thrive in life by giving your nervous system back its starting coördinates.

Every time I play on the floor, it helps me revisit the early core patterns that my nervous system once created to help me thrive in life. Every time this rolling about and around helps me tweak and refine those early core patterns and fill in the blind spots created by painful experiences, ignorance, and well-intentioned advice I once took for true without listening to my body.

Do you want a first taste of play on the floor? Let’s roll about and, around…