You are enough

You are enough

by | Dec 27, 2023 | Changing the story, Somatic Wisdom

I am preparing for the solo retreat that will start in less than a week.

In many of the past retreats, women told me about their struggle with ‘Not being good enough’. One of the tools in my magic healing box is the Systemic Dance Constellation Ritual. It was born out of my own intuitive way of systemic constellation and the training in systemic work I received in training as a somatic energetic therapist

I love to constellate the theme of ‘not being good enough’ by playing with our Self-wise energy personalities. Our Self Wise is the part in us that often got wronged or ridiculed in our childhood.

I know from experience that it can leave big scars and feelings of being disempowered, not equipped with the right survival tool, of not feeling of any worth. It has a huge influence on our life decisions, how we dream and desire for ourselves, our relationships, and how we dare to stand up for ourselves.
It is important to heal that part! To change your belief settings and self-image. And there is a very powerful way to invite our mind to stop her chatter: Movement and Play!
I believe that moving is the medicine, and to play is to heal. Through movement, we can gently sense our way in, with our body as the foundation.
After one of the Systemic Dance Constellation Rituals, I gifted myself, I wrote myself this little empowering poem:

“Not good enough” There she is again. Her venom paralyzes me to my core and grabs me by the throat. She drags me into her raging stream full of self-condemnation and comparisons to others. I go head over heels for her vicious words. She pulls me into her dark deep waters. Slowly I feel myself drowning in the fear of not being able to survive with who I am. Is it possible to believe in something else?

For a moment, “not being good enough” gets its way. Then strong hands pull me up, a soft voice whispers ‘It is not true’. It is another part of me. I break free from this devastating stream of thought. I feel the power of “not good enough” weakening. Her poison will miss its effect this time. She will have no more power over me..”

Visiting my inner museum

Visiting my inner museum

by | Dec 27, 2023 | Blog, Changing the story, Somatic Wisdom

To change our mode of action, we must change the image of ourselves that we carry within us. — Moshe Feldenkrais

Have you ever been to a museum?
In my twenties, I had a part-time job as an attendant in the municipal museum in The Hague. There was a hall with the works of the artist Piet Mondrian. It was my job to keep an eye on the paintings. And there were many! But I got completely lost in a painting called ‘Evolution”… The blue, in the blue, that made me dream about other places… And while I was immersed in it, I forgot about time, space, my body, and the paintings that I had to keep an eye on.

As we move through life, we have many experiences that shape us, hurt us, or give us joy… And as we grow, they become the stories of our lives, the paintings in our inner museum.
And almost always there is one of them that draws our attention more than the others. My ‘Evolution’ as it were. I can still see and feel myself in front of the classroom; a little girl with buckteeth, spiky hair, and a fire-red blush on my face. The teacher made fun of me and the other children booed me. And I see myself looking at this little girl from the sidelines, as she cringes and disappears…

For a long time, this ‘What’s wrong with me’ story was the only painting in my inner museum that I could see. I kept reinforcing that story through the way I saw myself, my thoughts, and the way I moved, stood, and looked at the world: tense, stressed, and huddled. As I continued to pay attention to this one particular inner painting, every day I felt more anxious, more tense, and more alone. The only way not to feel this was to get out of my body and dissociate from myself. A state of FREEZE:

Feeling fragmented
Restricting your freedom of movement
Experiencing emotional numbness
Estranging from your body and sensations
Zoning out from here and now
Erasing your sense of self

“Life is not a stable process. Our ability to recover is our greatest quality” Moshe Feldenkrais

Practicing the somatic movement method of Feldenkrais helped me to experience a variety of ways of holding myself and moving, which directed my attention to other paintings in my inner museum. Inner paintings that evoked pleasant sensations, emotions, and thoughts.

Through moving with awareness, I discovered how to reconnect with body sensations that helped me to be present in my body with joy and confidence.

And the more I could perceive my whole inner museum, the more variety of sensations and emotions I began to feel. Feeling more of myself enabled me to see myself differently and to make different choices for my life. Choices that were in tune with who I am, what I needed and wanted for myself, and helped me to move into joy.

I believe movement has this healing capacity because it connects us to every dimension of self.

(The painting above is from Steve Johnson | Pexels.com)

Movement is life

Movement is life

by | Dec 27, 2023 | Nervous System Health, Somatic Wisdom

“Movement is life. Life is a process. Improve the quality of the process and you improve the quality of life itself.” Moshe Feldenkrais.
Everything in nature is in constant motion to create a harmonious ecosystem. A dynamic balance, so to speak. And if we zoom in, each of us is a genius ecosystem in its own right: A system of body systems, our nervous system, energy systems, mind, emotions, soul and spirit. A system that exchanges information 24/7, updating itself by interacting with all the surrounding systems and its internal sub-systems. Therefore, our system demands mobility, and flexibility to create dynamic stability. It needs movement to find its balance, just like every other system in nature and the universe. Without movement, life is unthinkable!

Movement is the very expression of our existence.